DAY 4 Without Cigarettes

That's right it's day 4 of no smoking, and boy do I feel irritable.  Poor Jasen my coworker has to hear me bitch, but that's alright he then just reminds me to clean the sand out of my vagina.  This is the benefit of working with someone who understands the proper way to talk to a Marine.  As a sailor Jasen may not have had to work with Marines directly, but he knows we prefer a straightforward insult your mother and manhood approach. 

A certain someone has suggested that as a way to reduce stress and lose the cravings I should take up exercising.  So, five times a day I intend to do 5 situps, 5 pushups, 5 lunges and 5 leg lifts, so far I've done this 3 times today and I thought I was doing fine until I realized my legs were actually a little sore.  An old friend of mine from high school gave me this routine, though I think I modified it a little.  Either I modified it or the person who motivated me to do this modified it, but I know it's not exactly the same routine that Nick suggested. 

Apparently Nick has lost a ton of weight using this routine, he occasionally increases the amount of exercise he does to ensure he's still benefitting.  It's hard to believe but back before I got married I weighed in at 150 pounds, after the wedding but still in the USMC I weighed in at 180 pounds and after I left the USMC I ballooned up to 220 pounds.  At 5'8" this is not what I call healthy, I have lost a few pounds since the divorce, though I don't think it's much.  

I hate exercise, really I do, so if you hear of a man in Corpus Christi, Texas who after exercising lost his mind and killed his coworker within the next few days, it's probably me.  I would do anything to avoid exercise, I mean anything, but I especially hate running. I'd sell off one of my kids cheap to avoid that hell, alright I admit I wouldn't sell my kids, but don't think the idea hasn't crossed my mind.

The Side Effects are Outrageous

So, as I've said I'm quitting smoking, I'm on day 3 and the cravings are down some.  However there are so many side effects to quitting it's almost not even worth it (I have my reasons so shut up).  I was looking at this great website that has given me some insights regarding quitting and I realized there is a long list of side effects.

Not everyone has the same side effects but here is the list they had on whyquit.com.  Anxiety, mild depression, boredom & loneliness, anger or short-temper, time perception distortion, inability to concentrate, feeling tired or fatigued, trouble sleeping or insomnia, chest tightness, slight sore throat, coughing, mucus, nasal drip, bad breath, nasty tastes, bleeding gums, headaches, stomach pain, nausea, constipation or gas.  I am quitting the only way I know how too, cold-turkey.

Okay, so going through that list I can tell you that I have been going through a few of them.  Anxiety, oh yes, I'm antsy and anxious and want that relaxing cigarette break. I'm bored, I can't find anything to do and usually I'd spend a few minutes during the day smoking outside with other smokers.  I can't say I've been angry but I have been a little snippy in two phone conversations that I can think of.  I will say the day seems to take forever to get done and I haven't really been able to concentrate, but that tends to happen when you're asleep at work.  I can't fall asleep at night right now, I lay there tossing and turning for an hour or two, most likely because I'd smoke right before going to bed.  I have had a slight sore throat, coughing and nasal drip as well as headaches and bad breath (yes I can taste how bad it is). 

Anyway all of this is completely worth it despite the side effects, if you can't figure out why, well then you don't know me very well.  I have only two motivations in life one is my kids and they haven't figured out that I'm smoking, yes I've kept a secret for more than a year from them. Ok, so you've figured it out, I'm quitting because of my second motivation, steaks.  I like steaks and would do anything for one right now, however I won't get this reward until I get to Michigan, but that steak will be completely worth it.

Smoking Kills... Sometimes Hilariously

 I've already said I was a smoker for quite a few years and sometimes while smoking or attempting to smoke we tend to not think of what it might do, but rather getting the nicotine into our blood stream immediately. I was stationed at a real small base back in 1994-1998, Marine Corps Mountain Warfare Training Center, Bridgeport, Ca.  Because the base was small I often had to do things that would not normally fall under the purview of Telephone Switchboard Repairer.  

One winter day, I had been assigned to go up the mountain and check the antennas on our repeater site.  We took a tracked vehicle that takes about an hour or so to get to the top of the mountain where the repeater site is.  Around this point I realize I forgot my cigarette lighter down the mountain and my partner on the mountain doesn't have a lighter because he's not a smoker.  

Now under normal circumstances I consider myself a smart fellow, but in the throes of a nicotine induced panic attack I no longer resemble anything close to an intelligent life form.  I look for a heat source first to light the cigarette, the soldering iron never quite got warm enough everywhere to light a cigarette.  Then I see a napkin and I try napkin with the soldering iron (funny how this sounds like Monkey Island to me).  Still not quite what I need, but then yes I see it, a can of gasoline, it all makes sense to me now, dip the napkin in gasoline, that will help to start the necessary ingredient to my vice.  

Gasoline soaked napkin in hand, I grab the soldering iron, now I'm not sure if there was a spark somewhere or what, but the napkin instantly lit on fire.  Afraid for my life I dropped the napkin which is now an inferno in the wind and blowing into the shack that I'm standing in.  Fortunately for me I was still thinking on my feet and I grabbed the fire extinguisher and put out my last opportunity at a cigarette.    

Wouldn't the story be better if I found a way to light it you ask, sure but it's not the truth, the truth is once I got down the mountain and was ridiculed by everyone someone offered to light my cigarette for me. His lighter wasn't working either and we ended up just going to the store and buying a bunch of lighters and putting them everywhere. I started doing this for myself around the same time, so I wouldn't be without and occasionally I still find lighters in unlikely places.